June’s Chronic Illness Link-Up is at the half-way point of 2019. It’s hard to believe that this year has gone by so fast. This year has truly been a whirl-wind of changes and will continue to be. I am happy to be included again in this party with A Chronic Voice.
The 5 prompts this month will have me again thinking how I can describe a life of chronic illness through these words. I hope they also get you thinking about your life.
I do often feel like I’m repeating myself in this life of chronic illness. The cycle continues over and over. Sometimes the cycle is drawn out over weeks or months and lately it seems to be a quick cycle. I’m referring to the cycle of one diagnosis leading to another.
We talk about flares in our illness as being a severe period of time when the illness and pain become unbearable and we usually crash until it’s over. This year my flares are hard to distinguish from my everyday life. I believe that’s because I’ve been cycling from one new diagnosis to another.
After being diagnosed with Sjogren’s Syndrome last year, doctor’s have also found new diseases that are often co-morbid. I started treatment for the painful Small Fiber Neuropathy and then got Shingles and Sciatica. The Sciatica has not been stopped, even though I did have one small time when it disappeared.
Osteoporosis was diagnosed after a small fall resulted in a large break. I’m still undergoing PT and hoping for healing to show some progress. I also was diagnosed with Left Bundle Branch Block of the heart, Central Sleep Apnea (in addition to Obstructive Sleep Apnea), and many more failing teeth.
With all my weaknesses, I’ve been wondering what will hit next. But, I also have to wonder what will be better next. I’m wondering what life will be like in Kansas. We’re moving there in a few weeks. I’m wondering what doctors will be there and what new perspective could be found.
Wondering is a word that fills my mind with positive thoughts. It makes me look forward and not backwards. Although there is some fear about a total change, I know that most things stay the same.
Some days I feel like I’m turning into an old and broken-down woman. As I walk with a cane and have gotten fat, I feel that I’ve reached a very depressing turn in life. But, I won’t give up! I will continue to fight the weight gain with yet another start to eat healthy and cut out the sugar and processed food.
Some people think that turning over a new leaf is an old cop-out. They think that if you really kept up the good eating and exercise you wouldn’t always have to fail and start over. But, I don’t want to beat myself up. It does no good to get down on yourself. Fighting multiple chronic illnesses is hard enough!
Turning the corner or flipping over a new leaf sounds just fine to me and I’ll do it as often as necessary. With God’s help, I’ll make as many good improvements to my diet and routine as possible.
We all like to Get new things. When we’re little we want to get a new toy, new pony, or new friend. When we’re adults, it’s not much different. When we have chronic illness, it seems like we’re always getting a new pain or disease. It would help if we could just get a new cure.
With each day that I awake, I’m getting life! I’m getting another chance to love and care for myself and others. What a beautiful gift to get!
Desiring is a hopeful word, because when you desire something, it’s desiring something good. Who have you ever seen that is desiring pain or illness or misery?
Desiring good health, a low-pain day, or even world peace means that we want something beneficial for our lives or for the lives of those around us. I’m desiring so many things: help from the physical therapist today, a successful and pain-free dentist appointment tomorrow, and healing of my broken bone. I desire that we can pay all the medical bills and still keep our old cars running.
What are you desiring in your life? If you have chronic illness you’re probably focused on desires that could bring you better health and less pain. Chronic illness brings us so many problems that healthy people don’t have or even consider. While we’re desiring good things for ourselves, make sure to desire something special for those around you.
@2019, copyright Lisa Ehrman