Thankful For My Normal

Living in a quarantine doesn’t take away the the enormous stress and pain caused by chronic illness. In fact, my stress and anxiety has gone through the roof. My pain levels are still terrible and my treatments, inadequate. The few hours of feeling “my normal” are a blessing and what I look forward to. Though these are few and far between, I’m giving thanks for them.

My body does hate me. It’s a scientific fact that my body is attacking itself every minute of the day (and night). I can feel this war daily as it causes me pain, nausea, and fatigue. The last few weeks have been filled with overwhelming fatigue. I describe it to my husband this way: It feels like a vampire has drained all my blood.

I feel fatigue that is probably Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, because all I usually feel like doing is resting and sleeping. Just lifting my fingers or hands a few inches is hard work. I have to rest after every small task.

Things That Helped Stress

  • Breathing – slowly
  • Massage – husband helps
  • Distraction – watching favorite shows, reading, hobby
  • Prayer
relax

Living like this really gets me down. I don’t always feel depressed, but there are days when I do. When I go for many days of being totally drained my brain feels drained, too. The brain fog and exhaustion overwhelms my emotions. Thankfully, it doesn’t last.

When there is a break in the brain fog and high level of fatigue, I may feel a wonderful feeling: my normal health appears and my brain fog is gone….. Although it is short-lived it gives me a relief of the horrible symptoms and lets my spirit rest.

Yesterday, I experienced about four hours of relief. My vision cleared, my brain fog lifted, and I just felt my regular level of fatigue. During this time, I didn’t get up and try to accomplish chores. I just stretched out in my recliner and relished the moments. They were beautiful. I thanked God.

Disclaimer: I’m not a medical expert, and these words are not meant to be medical advice. If you have a medical concern, please consult your personal physician.

@2020, copyright Lisa Ehrman

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5 Responses

  1. This is a beautiful post! Thank you for sharing. 🙂 This is also my normal, due to chronic Lyme disease, and by the grace of God alone, He gives me strength to endure and find beauty and contentment in every moment of life. 🙂

    I will also ask: have you been tested for Lyme disease? It can mask itself as chronic fatigue syndrome.

    The important thing to note is that the ELISA and Western blot tests are big no-nos in testing for this, as they are not accurate and you often end up with a false negative. (It happened to me, the first few times I was tested for Lyme). The best way to test for this is a blood test through a specialized lab, called iGenex. They are located in California, and I know the test is expensive, but if you haven’t been tested yet or have been tested for Lyme according to the traditional route, I would encourage you to consider trying this option. Pray about it; I know God will continue to give you wisdom as you fight whatever you are facing with your health. 🙂 Thank you for your sweet encouragement and blunt honesty. It is refreshing to read posts like this, written by people who are walking a similar path of chronic illness. May your faith and trust in the Lord remain strong! I am praying for you and your husband. Smile.

    A sister in Christ,

    Augusta.

    • Lisa says:

      Thanks for sharing! I have been tested for Lyme, but it was probably the traditional test. I’ll go back and look at my records. I’ll certainly look into this in genetic testing. I’m very encouraged to hear from a fellow believer 🙂 I’ll be praying for you, too. God bless!

  2. sarah conaway says:

    What is the nature of your illness?

  3. sarah conaway says:

    I see the answer to that now. Has your doctor recommended a particular diet? Avoiding foods, taking others, etc?

    • Lisa says:

      My GP has been trying to get me to eat healthier. She has helped me to avoid most sugar and add more nuts. On my own, I’ve tried vegan and gluten free. I felt a little more energy on the vegan diet.

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