It’s Hard To Relax
Covid has now touched my family. My mother has a mild case and so far hasn’t had any symptoms to speak of. I’m very thankful that she’s been doing so well. And, my father isn’t showing any symptoms. I was with them a lot, but was wearing a mask.
I’ve quarantined all week and was finally able to see my grandchild. Today seemed extra special, because I was able to get out and be with family. Although I can’t be around my parents, I’m not showing any problems. And, my negative test was a relief.
I’ve felt so much stress this past week! It’s hard to worry about your aging parents and whether or not I was exposed. There doesn’t seem to be an end in sight, and it’s so hard on everyone. It’s especially hard on families who live far apart. There’s still a risk to travel and visit.
Many people are recommending that the holidays be spent at home, instead of traveling to be with extended family. All this makes sense, but I don’t know what I will do this year. I want to just throw caution to the wind and live my life. But, with all of my health problems, it’s just not wise to take that approach.
I also am worried about my health insurance. With the Supreme Court hearing the ACA case the week after the election, my fears are very near. Without the insurance through the ACA, I won’t be covered. With all of my pre-existing conditions there just won’t be a health insurance plan available to me.
Thankfully, my husband has medicare and my son is insured through his graduate school program. But, I’m the one who has very expensive health needs. My medical bills could definitely break us, financially.
I try to not worry, but my anxiety is raging. I’m trying to focus on the beauty of fall and the good things in my life. But, I have this fear in the back of my mind. I’ll just try to keep praying for strength to deal with all the bad things that may come my way. Only God can provide for my needs, so I’m trying to trust Him.
2020 certainly has been a year of ups and downs. The roller coaster life of chronic illness has made it more stomach-turning. I just hope and pray that we can all get through this and not have such suffering and worry.
I’m often thinking about doing more self-care actions, but haven’t really followed through with them. This evening I’m working on relaxing. It sometimes takes a lot of work to relax, if you know what I mean. I have to consciously tell my muscles to relax, my shoulders to fall, and my breathing to slow down .
It feels good to practice self-care. I know I need it, and you probably do, too. So, no matter what you’re facing, please take care of yourself. Relax in the tub, light a candle, breathe, or whatever works for you. God bless.
@2020, copyright Lisa Ehrman
Disclaimer: I’m not a medical expert. This post contains my opinions and is not meant to be taken as medical advice. If you have a medical concern, please consult your personal physician.