This past week has been unreal! Everywhere I look is bad news. My husband’s cancer may be metastatic. His last bone scan showed suspicious places and now he is to have another scan, a PET CT scan. This is going to look further by checking all his organs. We are now in the process of deciding whether or not to try and get in at M.D. Anderson for treatment.
My father had two cancer treatments for bladder cancer, with more to come. This was shocking news. My close friend was also diagnosed with breast cancer. One of my children had an ECHO on his heart to see if there are reasons for Vasovagal Syncope. The neurologists suspects that instead of Epilepsy. He’ll need to undergo another EEG after the semester ends. We don’t know the results of the ECHO yet. I had an MRI on my back and will have to wait two weeks to meet with the pain specialist to discuss his findings.
Everything is up in the air. I’m having a bad flare of IBS because of all the stress. My child is having panic attacks and we’re all stressed to the breaking point. We are all very supportive of each other and have lots of kind words of encouragement. We all take turns cheering each other on with uplifting talk, helping each other relax, and praying a lot together.
Not having results, answers, or a plan to get better makes us feel more fragile and more vulnerable. I know that in time there will be answers. In time there will be treatments. But, while we wait for our plans to be made, we are trying to remain positive. It can feel like a roller coaster at some moments. My stress comes out in physical ways: severe nausea. I’m unable to eat anything without severe nausea. I’ve been living on organic chicken broth and popsicles. When I get a break from the nausea, I try and eat some bland food and take my pills.
I know that God is in charge and He is good. He has always been good to me and my family. He has provided everything that we need and brings peace to my soul. I will continue to pray for peace, healing, and strength. Living with all my chronic illnesses and knowing that I will flare when under stress, scares me. If I travel with my husband far away for cancer treatment, I don’t know how I will be able to copy with my physical problems.
I won’t have my doctor, might have trouble getting my medications, won’t have any insurance coverage out-of-state, won’t be able to cook foods that are safe for me to eat, and won’t have any one to help me when I get sick. I’m praying that God will give me strength and health like I’ve never had in years in order to help my husband.
I must trust God that He has all of this under control, because I certainly can’t face this on my own.
@2021, copyright Lisa Ehrman
Disclaimer: I’m not a medical expert. This post contains my opinions and experiences, and is not meant to be taken as medical advice. If you have a medical concern, please consult your personal physician.