Life with chronic illness means that I’m going to experience energy, pain, exhaustion, happiness, and depression…..all in one day. Every day starts with a different thing, whether good or bad. Some mornings I can barely walk because of the pain. Some days the pain isn’t so bad when I get up, but it gets worse as the day goes on.
Often, there can be short periods of time when I get energy. Some days I can’t move and just lie around the entire day in my pajamas. Sjogren’s dryness can cause me to be miserable and have terribly blurred vision some days or for even weeks at a time. Other days my arthritis is causing throbbing pain.
Ehlers Danlos Syndrome makes my spine slip almost every day. But on some days, my fingers subluxate and I need to wear my ring splints. The worst days are when all of the syptoms occur. Thankfully, it doesn’t happen often.
Trying to live with my parents and help care for my mom hasn’t been going well. Her dementia really isn’t that bad, but she’s lonely and bored. I’m not taking care of myself, which is what I was afraid would happen. I’m eating fairly well, but my stress level is very high.
With my husband dealing with Stage 4 Prostate Cancer, I feel like he really needs me at home. He can’t have the kind of support there that he needs without me. Life is never easy and decisions are usually complicated.
Chronic life just adds a huge layer to the complication. No matter what symptoms I deal with every day or what stresses are crushing me, I have to take a few minutes to remember that I have real help. God has a purpose for everything and cares about me.
Today, I’m trying to remind myself of the really good moments. This week I got to spend a wonderful day with my daughter and her family. My grandchild was a bundle of energy and excitement. I love it when he calls me Mimi.
The good moments in my chronic life may not outweigh the bad ones, but I choose to celebrate them anyway. My chronic life is good and God is good to me.
@2021, copyright Lisa Ehrman
Disclaimer: I’m not a medical expert. This post contains my experiences and opinions and is not meant to be taken as medical advice. If you have a medical concern, please consult your personal physician.