Why Am I Such A Bad Patient?

Why do I let this happen? I’ve done it before and it’s awful! Why do I let myself run out of medicine? Why am I such a bad patient? This time I ran out of Gabapentin and I’m paying for it. The side effects of stopping a drug cold turkey are horrible.

pill bottles

When I had to transfer my medications to another state, while visiting my mom, I assumed that I would check on the return transfer. I didn’t assume correctly and the refill of my prescription remained out of state. I got confused because the doctor who prescribed this medicine met with me over Zoom.

He said that he was sending in a refill for this medicine to my original pharmacy, and I didn’t check up on him. I assumed he had done his job. He hadn’t. Then, my prescription wasn’t available. I tried to order the transfer done on my online account. This didn’t get done either.

By this time, I had completely run out of pills. Then, I started feeling really bad because of withdrawal side effects. More complications occurred when the pharmacy’s new phone answering software was changed. Whenever I called them, they couldn’t hear me and would hang up.

I started having cold sweats and my body temperature would go from hot to cold and back, with lots of nausea. By this morning, I sent hubby to the pharmacy to get more pills. After trying to explain all of this, they finally agreed to give me an advance of a few pills until the doctor’s office could be reached.

I’m getting zaps of neuropathy now, but at least I’ve taken my first dose of Gabapentin. I should start to feel better after the next dose (hopefully). It’s my fault for running out, because I should have called sooner.

I have the same problem with medicine refills as I do with pacing myself. I never think things will be as bad as they always turn out to be. I don’t intend to be self-destructive, but sometimes I am. I hate being sick all the time. Sometimes I just want someone to take care of me. I don’t want to be an adult with all these chronic illnesses……too bad.

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