Some Days Are Scary

This may be Wednesday, but it feels like I’ve already survived an entire week. Monday was my first day back at phototherapy. My 26 second treatment wasn’t hard, but the getting ready and the drive was tiring. Tuesday was the scary day.

Last month I told my rheumatologist about a bump under my arm. She felt my underarms and felt that the lymph nodes were swollen. She ordered an axillary ultrasound on my right underarm.

I tried to put the test out of my mind, but by the day of the appointment I was very nervous. The apprehension right before the test was tough. When I showed up at the big medical center, I was sent to the Breast Cancer Imaging center. That was pretty uncomfortable. Every woman in there was about my age and no one looked happy.

We all had a facial expression of dread. The building was new and modern and all the staff were very friendly. I didn’t have to wait long before my name was called. I was given a cute pink gown to change into. Four other women waited in a room in our pink gowns until our name was called.

Waiting Room

Ultrasounds don’t hurt at all, but I hate the gooey gel that was rubbed under my arm and on the front of my shoulder area. I’ve had plenty of ultrasounds and they’re usually to see a sweet little baby. This one was used to see if I had signs of something terrible….cancer.

I had looked online and Dr. Google showed me what lymph nodes should like if they’re normal. Of course, I’m not a radiologist or a doctor, so I was just guessing at what I was actually seeing on the screen. I angled my head around to watch the screen as the radiologist measured the lymph nodes.

I couldn’t really tell what I was looking at, but I sure was worried. The lady said that results would be posted on my chart by the end of the day. She was right. The results stated that I had reactive lymph nodes, but they appeared to be benign. Three of the nodes were the right size.

One node was 3.0 by 2.8 by 1.8. It was too big but didn’t have the right qualifications to be considered suspicious. I was very relieved, but it didn’t soak in until this morning. Once I get worked up emotionally, it’s hard to get back to normal. But, I’m thankful for a benign report.

Today was another phototherapy treatment. My husband’s cancer therapy appointment went late and he wanted to drive me to my appointment afterwards. We drove as fast as possible and I arrived about 10 minutes late. Since I was the last appointment of the day, the nurse was about to close up the lab.

Thankfully, she graciously let me take my treatment. I’m really tired now. Between hubby’s appointments and mine, it’s really a full-time job. I hope that we can get good results from all of this and get better health. Living with chronic illness is so unpredictable, but we have to take it one day at a time.

@2021, copyright Lisa Ehrman

Disclaimer: I’m not a medical expert. This post contains my opinions and experiences and is not meant to be taken as medical advice. If you have a medical concern, please consult your personal physician.

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