Surviving My Appointment

I survived the day of my appointment at the dermatologist. This appointment was a follow up to my phototherapy. I didn’t keep it up, because of my husband’s cancer appointments taking up so much time. I just don’t have the energy to drive so far three times a week out of town.

The dermatologist looked over my entire body, checking for moles and looking at the skin lesions. As you know, many times that you want to show the doctor a chronic rash, it will get so much better. So, all she saw was the lower back rash that’s been there for years and a few small others.

I have a new spot that looks like Mycosis Fungoides. It’s faint in color and a small circular/oval shape. She saw the spots on my head and a new rash on my lower cheek. I’ve never had this stuff on my face and am freaked out that it might spread. She said to use prescription Hydrocortisone cream on the spot.

I’m to continue using Cortisone cream on the lesions and let her know if I get a lot more Mycosis Fungoides. She plans to see me in a year. On her notes, she mentioned how she was following multiple moles that could turn to melanoma.

She really didn’t say that to me out loud, and when I read it I was really shocked. I knew she was checking them each visit, but I thought it would be watching for Basil Skin Cancer. Now, I’m going to be paranoid about that. I wonder why they allowed me in the phototherapy booth, if they were concerned about me having melanoma?

Well, as usual, the doctor was in and out in just a few minutes. They have a way of making you feel small. Once you put on the hospital gown, there is a change. They come in and talk very fast. They look over your body very quickly and don’t like to give a direct answer.

Since my skin spots aren’t given a final diagnosis, the write-up says that it’s CTCL vs Eczema. There really is a big difference between the two (sarcasm) and it’s like a death sentence hanging over your head. No diagnosis occurs unless 10% of my body is covered with the spots.

It’s hard to put it out of your mind, knowing what could happen if the spots spread. I don’t have any way to know what will happen in the future. My skin could continue to stay just the way it is or it could change into a nightmare. It’s just something I have to daily give the worry to God, because I don’t need the extra stress.

I can’t totally put it out of my mind, but I’ll try to remember that God is in control. Trusting him without becoming a type of fatalist is the key. I need to focus on His goodness.

Tomorrow is another appointment with my GP. I have a list of questions for him, so we’ll see if I get any good answers. One thing I want to discuss is the new Hormone Therapy he has started on me. I know he’ll discuss the test results.

I turned in my 24 hour urine collection for the endocrinologist. He’s testing my cortisol levels and creatinine. I hope that I get good results from this test.

I’m going to sleep like a log tonight. Too much time in hospitals today and that exhausts me, physically and mentally.

“You can go to bed without fear; you will lie down and sleep soundly.” — Proverbs 3:24

@2022, copyright Lisa Ehrman

Disclaimer: I’m not a medical expert. This post contains my experiences and opinions and is not meant to be taken as medical advice. If you have a medical concern, please consult your personal physician.

2 thoughts on “Surviving My Appointment”

  1. Going to the doctor always exhausts me mentally too; I am so keyed up the whole way there and the whole time I’m there that afterwards I am just spent. I hope you get answers from your GP tomorrow!

    1. I feel like I need to be hyped up, because I’m so determined to get in all my questions. Unfortunately, I also need to be extra careful so that I don’t end up being gaslit.

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