Chronic Illness, Contentment

Anger at Ehlers Danlos Syndrome

Dealing with Ehlers Danlos Syndrome has been tough this week.  I overdid it last week, which threw me into a flare that continues still.

Yesterday was the worst when a storm system went through our area, with the barometric pressure going nuts.  My migraine was just awful!  I was completely out of commission, wanting to bang my head against the wall.  Of course, I didn’t.  But, I was non-functional and that put me in a sad and bad mood.  Sometimes being chronically ill can make me angry.

I don’t often get angry from being sick, but sometimes it happens.  I was talking to Hubby and thought about the rest of my life and started crying.  My future is not a pretty sight.  Every day is waking up and hoping for the strength to get a shower and maybe cooking a meal.  My mind, though, is filled with wonderful ideas of days filled with an abundant life of a healthy, creative woman.

The reality doesn’t match my daydreams.  I guess I’m regressing in my acceptance of these chronic illnesses.  When I’m overwhelmed with the intense pain, these old feelings are so raw!  No one wants to be 53 and lay around everyday hurting.

Thankfully, Hubby is there for me to listen to my anger and sadness.  He holds me as I cry.  Thankfully, this flare will calm down at some point.  Thankfully, I can pray and know that God is always there and cares for all my needs.  I know that when I go to Heaven, there will be no pain.

Today, as I rest and wait for my pain to get better, I’ll pray for many things.  Three of my kids are in finals next week, and need lots of prayer.  A high school friend had a stroke and needs prayer.  Our in-laws lost their home to fire and need prayer.  Praying for others is an important thing to do, and I have lots of time to do it.

I hope there comes a day when I won’t get angry at my chronic illness.  But, I am human and fail.  When I’m weak and sick my emotions are on edge.  Thank God that He loves me through the good days and the bad days.

John 16:33 I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace.  In the world you will have tribulation.  But take heart; I have overcome the world.

@2016, copyright Lisa Ehrman

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