Chronic Illness, Contentment

Mathematical Prompts

July brings another Chronic Voice prompt, and another opportunity to dig deeper into thoughts that bounce around in my head.

math

Adding – It seems like all I do lately is subtract.  My medical bills have us so worried, because they’re piling up.  We subtract more and more money from hubby’s retirement.  Adding to this worry is the fear that insurance will phase out for me.  With the government trying to take away my coverage, I’m adding up all the costs in my head.

I need to add up all the times that God has provided for me, which is all my life.  Remembering that is what I must do.

Spreading – I must confess that my first thoughts about spreading were how my waist-line keeps spreading.  Yeah, that’s not a positive thought.  My real thoughts are that I want to be spreading encouragement to all of us who have chronic illness.  Whether you are sick or love someone who is, spreading love and encouragement is so important.

I’m embarrassed that too many times I am spreading negativity.  I hope and pray that I can spread true hope and not just pie-in-the-sky happiness.  Many times I work hard to put on a smile or share a laugh, when I don’t feel happy at all.  But, laughing at my circumstances can sometimes bring a real smile.

girl
Coffee brings a true smile!

Ranting – Ranting is something we all do when we hurt.  I only feel like ranting when someone is being dishonest or unjust.  We see so much injustice in our world, so it gets easy to become angry.  When we feel threatened with our health/life being taken away, ranting definitely comes naturally.

Protecting – I’m a mom of three adult kids, but I still want to protect them.  This feeling that I must protect them was  felt at their birth and never seems to go away.  Over time, I had to let them go to trust them and trust God.  But, no matter their age, I wish I could protect them from pain in any form.

Dividing – Adding and Dividing in this post reminds me of math.  And, I’m terrible at math.  It’s amazing that I have a son who’s a math major!  Anyway, I don’t do much dividing of numbers.

Hubby and I plan to do more dividing soon.  As we intend to down-size even more, we’re dividing many items into various boxes.  Some things will go to our kids, as they are starting their own families.  Maybe they’ll use some of their childhood items with their children, or just enjoy the memories.  We’re dividing the piles into sell, keep, give away, or throw away.  It’s amazing that in our home we can find something precious in a box that also holds something trash-worthy.

When we get done, some items will bless others and others will continue to bless us.  At least now, the labeled boxes can be found a little quicker and easier when we look for them.

@2018, copyright Lisa Ehrman

 

Chronic Life

2 Comments

  1. Thanks for participating once again in the monthly linkup for spoonies! It’s always very interesting to read your point of view..and yes! I had actually wanted to get even more ‘mathematical’ with multiply and subtract as well but thought that might be a bit overboard :p I see hope and positivity infused throughout this post, despite your worries about being negative (which I rarely if ever feel in your posts!). Thanks for sharing once again! 🙂

    1. xaoti

      This linkup is one I always look forward to. I’ll need to get back over to read what the other spoonies have written, too. Thanks for hosting it every month 🙂

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