It’s been hard to write lately. The exhaustion that I’ve been dealing with has made me almost non-functional. The addition of my two new treatments has put my body into bed.
Physical therapy treatments for me are “easy”. I mean that they are easier than anything I’ve ever done before, and easier than what older people than me seem to be doing. But, these exercises are easy, because doing anything harder would be impossible.
I remember that in my 20s, 30s, and early 40s, I could participate in aerobic activities with no trouble. That seems so long ago. The acupuncture treatments were causing severe problems. I say severe, because I was having itching reactions and exhaustion afterwards. I got to the point of taking benadryl every day to stop allergic reactions and to prevent anaphylaxis.
So, after talking to my therapist, she agreed to use less needles in my treatment. This made all the difference in the world. For three days after the treatment, my energy levels were much improved. My itching has gone back to my normal for itching. This has brought me so much relief!
Now, after the three days of feeling better, I feel awful. Oh, well. My body goes up and down all the time. It may go up and down because of treatments, weather, or doing something. We all understand that when you do something, you’ll pay for it later. This might mean that I’ll pay a high price for cooking a meal or bathing the dog.
But, the big Ups and Downs also involve the emotions. When my body has extreme swings in energy and pain, this also affects my feelings. When my body gets down and stays down for days and days, I’ll get down emotionally. People say, “just get out of the house, and you’ll feel better” (or something like that). This is just not true, if you aren’t physically able to get out. Just getting a shower knocks me out for hours.
When I get down emotionally, I know it’s only a short-term issue. When my body gives me proof of bouncing back a little, my emotions are going to follow. Those of us with chronic illness get disappointed in ourselves because of what our bodies can’t do. We get our hopes up that we can ________. But, when we can’t _______, our hopes are dashed.
That doesn’t mean that we should stop hoping. We need to keep looking forward. We need to keep trying. This is important to remind ourselves of new possibilities. I like to read Scripture that reminds me of how God cares about how I feel.
Psalm 34:18 ESV
The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.
@2017, copyright Lisa Ehrman