I was getting so close! My appointment with a neurological specialist was to be November 14. But, his office has rescheduled me for over a month later. I’m so disappointed! I’ve been counting down the months, weeks, and days to have my tilt table test (and other tests). Now, I’ll need to wait longer. There’s nothing I can do but wait.
Waiting is such a big part of having chronic illness. I have such a long list of them, and this creates many opportunities to wait. We wait for appointments. We wait for test results. We wait to find a doctor that knows or cares. We wait to get better.
Having chronic illnesses has made me more patient. Patience is not my thing, and I still am not that patient. But, I’m a lot more patient than I was in the past. What else can you do?
My progress with Physical therapy and Acupuncture is questionable. Some days, I feel like I’m making improvements. Then, I’ll have three horrible days in a row. My plan is to continue for a few months and give it time to prove itself. What have I got to lose? Hope is hanging out there in front of me…..and I keep reaching for it.
Even though I still struggle with getting down on myself, I know that I must allow myself the time to be unhappy and work through it. We can put on a fake smile sometimes, but there’s nothing to be ashamed about in crying. Sadness is part of life. Hope is part of life.
My relationship with God offers me a friend to talk to. God always listens to my sadness and worry. He offers me peace in the midst of my stress and pain.
I’m thankful that my appointment is out there and I look forward to it. Answers will come in time.
@2017, copyright Lisa Ehrman