Finding Joy In This Journey


Whew!  What a week!  This week was a busy time for appointments.  I had physical therapy twice, a mammogram, gynecologist, and allergy specialist appointments.  I’ve learned, yet again, that too much activity equals severe consequences.

Wednesday at PT, the therapist increased my exercises too much and I came home to crash afterwards.  Thursday was the day of the medical appointments.  We also took our youngest out to celebrate his 4.0 for the semester at college.  When I got home, I felt like I had food poisoning, but it was just severe nausea.

I slept only a few hours and was sick all the next day with headache, nausea, and worsening pain.  My vision was so blurry and still is today, though the nausea is a little better.  The pain is still unbearable, but I’m just resting as much as I can until this improves.


Flaring from too much activity is rotten, but I just can’t seem to avoid it sometimes.  Often, I just am stubborn and don’t want to cancel an appointment.  Most days I’m exhausted from just showering and doing my hair and make-up.  It’s a never-ending cycle of dealing with chronic illnesses.

These are the times when you cry and pray and just want it to stop.  Then, when the worst moments pass, I can give thanks for some little-something that is a blessing.  The flowers that my hubby brought me, and his encouragement brought me to happy tears.  There really is joy in this journey.

@2018, copyright Lisa Ehrman


  1. It’s great that your husband is so supportive and caring for you. Congrats to your son for his 4.0 — that’s a great accomplishment.

    • xaoti

      May 6, 2018 at 2:53 pm

      Yes, I’m blessed! Thanks, my son really works hard to develop the talent God gave him. I’m really proud of him 🙂

  2. I hope that you are getting a little down time. I’ve been dealing with chronic pain for years now. That are other issues etc. can be really overwhelming to say the least. You’re in my prayer.

    • xaoti

      May 6, 2018 at 2:54 pm

      Thank you for the prayers, Debbie. I’ve been resting non-stop, which helps. I’m sorry that you also have chronic pain. It sounds like you’ve learned to take it easy on yourself 🙂

  3. You have such a positive attitude in the face of suffering. I too have faced tremendous health issues the last 20 years.

    • xaoti

      May 6, 2018 at 3:00 pm

      Some days are easier than others. 20 years is a long time to deal with bad health. I hope you can find better treatments that can bring you some relief. I keep hoping that each new treatment can help, but my only way to stay positive is that I know God has my life in His hands 🙂

  4. Casey Garvey

    May 6, 2018 at 4:29 am

    I find it hard to find the small joys in life most days. I lost my son to sids, and then my life. The pain is nasty.. I have no support and find it hard to leave my bed some days, let alone shower!

    • xaoti

      May 6, 2018 at 2:57 pm

      I’m so sorry for your loss, Casey. The pain of that must be the worst kind of all. I wish you had support, because it makes things so much better. My faith in God gives me so much hope. I hope you’ll keep finding friends online, because that helps me so much to talk to people who understand. I’ll pray that you can find more peace 🙂

  5. That’s so sweet of your husband! It’s wonderful to have support through our significant others. I’m sorry to hear of your suffering, and I agree with you about it making you appreciate the good things that much more! ❤

    • xaoti

      May 10, 2018 at 2:57 pm

      Thanks, Megan 🙂 Having loving support makes all the difference to us, for sure! Those of us with chronic diseases have that new level of appreciation for every little blessing 🙂

  6. gloria patterson

    May 10, 2018 at 3:04 pm

    I am a fan of taking LIFE ONE DAY AT A TIME! You do what you can, rest when you can.

  7. You have such a fantastic attitude! Thank you for this post…

  8. Woohoo! That’s awesome your son has a 4.0. Encouraging them on to keep up the good work is best. You’re doing awesome.

    • xaoti

      May 12, 2018 at 2:43 pm

      Thanks, Tarissa. I’m thankful he’s so good at math, but he didn’t get it from me 🙂

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