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Change That Never Comes

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This morning I had a fasting blood test to check my hormone levels. I have been using the bioidentical liquid hormone therapy that is absorbed through my skin. I don’t notice any change since I started using it. My doctor told me that after re-checking my blood he would possibly increase the dosage. I certainly hope that he will, because I haven’t had any increase in energy.


I also haven’t noticed a great deal of change in my depression. I think I might be a little better, but can’t say that it’s helped very much. Maybe the doctor will increase this dose, too? I also began taking Hydroxyzine for itching. The last few years have been ruined by chronic itching. We’ll see if this really makes a difference.

There’s plenty in this world to make my stress levels rise… about you? I’m feeling like my inflammation is a little better, but not my skin. I used Neosporin and band aids at night, but the adhesive in the band aid makes my fingers worse.

My right wrist feels broken, but I’m pretty sure that I have a sprain of sorts. If it isn’t better by next week I’ll have to see the doctor. The only way I can use my right hand is to keep the wrist brace on.

On a happy note, my feet and ankles are back to their normal skinniness. I’m thrilled that the awful swelling is gone!

When I’m in a flare I never know what will hit me. Having expectations of flare symptoms is fine, but it doesn’t always work out. This flare makes me cold when I’m inside so I’ve been cuddling with a blanket, which isn’t like me at all. I’m also very tired and sleepy. The new drug, Hydroxyzine is knocking me out right now.

This new medicine may not be any improvement over Benadryl. I just want to stop having such itchy skin. Sometimes my body just doesn’t respond well to medicines. Also, I seem to get a lot of the side effects.

I feel a little bit inspired after watching Nadal come back and fight through pain to win a 5-set match today. He’s playing with an injured foot and today he had an abdominal “muscle injury. He had medical time-outs and even his dad and sister told him to quit. He’s such a tough fighter and stayed in the match and won.

Although I don’t feel much of a fighting spirit, I want to keep fighting in my mind to have an existence that gives me something. Today I’m very thankful that I have a supportive family who always try to help me by bringing me something to drink or massaging my shoulders. Little things like that are a big deal to me. I feel loved and cared for.

@2022, copyright Lisa Ehrman

Disclaimer: I’m not a medical expert. This post contains my opinions and experiences and is not meant to be taken as medical advice. If you have a medical concern, please consult your personal physician.

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