I’m a big football fan and this time of year is very exciting. Can my favorite team hold it together and win the Super Bowl? The playoffs are times when I’m hyped up and anxious for the games ahead. When my favorite team makes big mistakes they get frustrated.
I also get very frustrated when big mistakes are made, but sometimes they’re just playing bad. The “pressure” I feel I’m putting on myself. I know it’s just a game, but I still love the competition. Are you like me, wanting to win (in a game or in life)?
As I’ve gone from a young woman with health and energy to a sick woman with serious fatigue, I get frustrated with my inability to function. It’s embarrassing for me to be the person with tremors, the person who can’t remember words.
I’ve progressed from the fan who yells at the TV to a person who enjoys the game no matter who wins. I still get angry at certain things that go wrong, but it doesn’t ruin my day. As we get older with our chronic illnesses, I hope we’ll all have learned how to deal with them better.
I want to let go of anger and frustration and instead learn from things that annoy me. When my joints throb and I turn my sprained ankle a-g-a-i-n, it does not help for me to give in to my frustration or rotten mood. I need to realize that I’m living a Chronic Life and let things go. This is my life forever and I don’t have any choice other than to pray for the grace to live a life that others will respect.
I don’t feel the desire to be an inspiration, because I’m just a normal person who has some terrible illnesses. I may need some extra help (cane, wheelchair, etc) but that doesn’t mean that my mind is feeble. I may blow it sometime and have a pity party but that’s not going to ruin my day. I’ll just dust off my mistakes and push myself off the floor.
Sometimes I feel myself falling back to the floor, but I can’t give up. It helps to just stay there and get my strength back before I push off again. Thankfully, I can get the (inner) strength from God needed to accept my weakness, but should never stay on the floor.
@2024, copyright Lisa Ehrman
Disclaimer: I’m not a medical expert. This post contains my experiences and opinions and is not meant to be taken as medical advice. If you have a medical concern, please consult your personal physician.