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Drug Roller Coasters

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I’m on a drug roller coaster and it’s crushing me. My doctor asked me to cut back on my Gabapentin and it hasn’t been going well. I wasn’t really gung ho about doing this, but he’s trying to help me with my fatigue. I told him that fatigue was my worst problem. When I got to a half dose of Gabapentin, I experienced numbness and tingling in my hands, wrists, and legs.

I’m adding the full dose of Gabapentin back to my drug regimen. It sounds good to say that I could cut my dose of a drug, because no one wants to take more than is necessary. But, the drug was given to me at that dose for a reason. I obviously needed that amount in order to stop my neuropathy symptoms. Although Gabapentin doesn’t cure me of neuropathy, it does allow me to live without experiencing the pain and numbness that neuropathy brings.

I’m now getting off of prednisone again. I should have been completely off of it by now, but I had to take a strong dose. When I was the only driver that could get my husband to his eye surgery, I knew that I had to take full doses of prednisone. This was to prevent me from having an allergic reaction that would have prevented me from being able to drive. It worked and I didn’t have any reactions that day. But now, I need to get off of the meds again. I’ve gone down to half a dose and I can feel the effects.

When I get off Prednisone, I usually have bad side effects of: moodiness, jitteriness, more fatigue and pain, and light-headedness. It takes a few days of this before I’ll feel back to normal.

Living with chronic illness means that I will always be riding roller coasters. I’ve talked about it many times before, but each time it happens it feels new. It makes the days difficult, but I will keep trying to get through them one at a time. Having been through this before allows me to look forward to the day when I’m a little more steady.

I know today will be hard, because I have to drive into town and do errands. Errands are my enemy, even though I really long to do them. It’s a crazy battle and I have to tell my mind that I want to experience more than just surviving the day. I want to enjoy it. This pushes me to fight through the fatigue and go ahead and get the shower.

This is the kind of day when I really try to muster up the chronic illness warrior in me. I rarely feel like a warrior, but on those days where I can’t rest at home I need to feel brave. I tell myself that I can make it through. I’ll pray that I drive safely and can be kind to those around me. There will be consequences. I will be exhausted afterwards. I don’t do it because it’s worth it. I do it because I don’t have any other choice.

@2022, copyright Lisa Ehrman

Disclaimer: I’m not a medical expert. This post contains my opinions and experiences and is not meant to be taken as medical advice. If you have a medical concern, please consult your personal physican.

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