Every Day

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I had a better day today, without as much itching. I couldn’t sleep last night from itching and stayed up until 4 AM. I ended up getting 5 hours of sleep, but feel more energetic because I haven’t taken Benadryl yet today. My NP is prescribing me Atarax for itching. I’m already taking 2 Zyrtec, Singulair, and Famotidine for my Mast Cell Disorder, but it doesn’t touch the overall itching that causes me to scrape my skin raw.

Although my body wash was the best I’ve ever used, I wondered if I should try something different. So, I ordered an Aveeno Sensitive Skin wash that felt great. Then I coated myself in lotion and rubbed steroid cream on all the bad places. After three hours I’m not itching, but I’m just now entering the time of night when the itching starts. It’s every night and I haven’t come up with a trigger.

I guess when you’re allergic to yourself, you don’t need a trigger. Any time of day that I’m not clawing at my skin is a great time of day. Life has certainly been stressful lately. Having a parent who dies, another who has Dementia, and certain family members who are aggressive is just too much to deal with. I would stay away from all of them, but my mom deserves to be taken care of by someone who is gentle, caring, and calm.

Stress and trauma can easily become an unbearable part of life. Family drama doesn’t have to involve you to affect you. That’s where I am now. I’m watching from the outside, but I need to be able to help anyway. That’s one of the difficult things about being a responsible adult. Life isn’t always fair or fun. But, I’m going to keep trying to be content.


Today I also woke up with wrist pain in my right wrist. It was throbbing so hard that I couldn’t pick up my coffee cup without feeling like I would drop it. After a little while of hurting I remembered that I had a wrist brace. I found the brace in my closet and immediately felt better. I was also having throbbing TMJ pain as well as the bones in my gums. My face looked a little swollen on the outside, but not much. I went ahead and took Ibuprofen with lunch and it helped a great deal.

I still need to unpack my suitcase from the last trip, but am afraid that I’ll be leaving for another trip next week. I really don’t want to be away from my family, but I may be required to be with my mom. There are people there now, but I want her to have someone there who has her best interests at heart.

I guess that tomorrow I’ll pick up the new medication and try it. I’ve read about a ton of side effects and don’t want any of them. We’ll see what it does to me. I know that it’s an antihistamine, but is also used for other things. I hate taking so many medications! It’s just part of my life and I feel better about it when I just accept that there are things that have improved since taking them all.

Acceptance is a word that describes many of my thoughts each day. I don’t think of it in a fatalistic sense, but just in a way to say that I’m being realistic. Life goes by so fast and I miss so much of it with my illnesses. Every day I’m reminding myself to enjoy the little things. Wasting the good things in each day is missing an opportunity that I can’t get back.

@2022, copyright Lisa Ehrman

Disclaimer: I’m not a medical expert. This post contains my opinions and experiences and is not meant to be taken as medical advice. If you have a medical concern, please consult your personal physician.

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