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Expecting My Normal

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Expecting my normal is what I do. When I wish upon a star and hope for a healthy life I’m expecting something other than my real life. Those fairy tale expectations are great for day-dreams and sometimes we need to fantasize just to stay sane. All this goes to say that I expect that my body will be about the same today as it has been for the last few years.

When we left for our trip we were getting over some type of illness. I really thought I was on the very ending of it. Then, on our last day something else seemed to start. Two days ago there was an ache in my throat and my nose got congested. My right sinus started hurting and now I have a sore throat. Is there never an end? I guess the answer to that is no. Since Christmas of 2021, I’ve been sick with something almost everyday. So, my normal this year has been colds, Covid, and respiratory infections. Maybe I have long covid? Whatever I’m dealing with, it’s really making me miserable.

August is flying by and I know some of you have children starting school already. My youngest starts college classes next week. The years go by so quickly and I know before we turn around it will be Christmas. Are there any changes from this year’s normal to last year’s? I’ve got new symptoms: Essential Tremor and Essential Myoclonus, more balance problems, large hump on back. I’ve started new drugs this year: Topamax for Myoclonos, Bioidentical Hormones for very low hormone levels, Wellbutrin for depression)

The three new drugs show a difference in my blood work, but I feel nothing. I’ve noticed this over the years with almost all my medicines. Until I get off the medicines, and then I realize that there was a little bit of help. As I learned long ago, if each medicine or treatment can provide a small fraction of help, it will add up to a good percentage of help. I’ll never be able to reach total pain relief, but I would love to feel closer to normal. Fatigue is my worse symptom.

So, I’ll keep expecting my normal. This won’t be in a way of negativity, but just acceptance. If I can try and follow my treatments, I will give my body the best chance possible to survive the day with some enjoyment.

@2022, copyright Lisa Ehrman

Disclaimer: I’m not a medical expert. This post contains my opinions and experiences and is not meant to be taken as medical advice. If you have a medical concern, please consult your personal physician.

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