Today begins the second week on my new diet program. There have been successes and failures, but I’ll try to focus on the good. I did lose 6 pounds! That’s a huge accomplishment for me. When I talked to the nutritionist yesterday, she said that I made her day. My few changes in eating made her feel encouraged that my progress would be great.
I need and want progress. Improvements in my energy level are probably a result of both diet changes and the doubling of LDN dose. I’ll take it, whatever helped. Hopefully, the improvements aren’t just a break in my normal pain and fatigue levels. Being able to cook a few healthy meals from scratch has been a victorious thing for me.
Today, I hope to make the diet muffins and breakfast muffins. This will take a lot of energy. I certainly hope that it lasts. Because, there is also dinner to fix. I know this sounds a little crazy to people who don’t suffer with chronic fatigue and pain. But, if you live with it, you know exactly how impossible it is to fix meals.
One thing that never improves is the pain in my spine. Even if I’m able to stand and cook a meal, my back pain is severe. After only 3-5 minutes of standing, I get intense pain where the scoliosis curve hits and in the swayback area. It’s so bad that it takes my breath away after a few minutes of trying to push through the pain. All I can do is to rest with ice or heat for a while until it eases up.
These battles are the ones I fight each and every day. The pacing of my activity is best described as a morbid dance. I do my best to work and rest, work and rest. The outcome is always intense pain. But, if I don’t try a little activity, then nothing ever gets done. So, I’ll keep trying.
Are you a chronic warrior? When I say warrior, I really mean that I’m putting on the best armor that I have when facing the new day. I know that the amour isn’t going to fix anything, but it’s the best armor that I have. I often don’t win the battles, but it doesn’t stop me from continuing the fight. I hope you will, too.
@2020, copyright Lisa Ehrman
