The season has changed, but that doesn’t mean that my chronic illness has changed. We recently traveled 2,000 miles and went through the time zone change twice and my chronic illness didn’t change. Now I’m attempting to do a little “Spring Cleaning” and there won’t be any improvement in my chronic illness because of that either.
We grow older and new problems come with age. If new problems don’t come, there could be progressively worsening of the original chronic illness. I was lucky to be on a cancellation list at my new doctor appointment with a Motion Disorder Neurologist. I’ll be able to go on the 12th instead of September.
I’m really curious to see what this doctor has to offer. On the hospital’s website, I saw that there are four choices: Essential Tremor, Parkinson’s, Dystonia, and or Huntington’s Disease. My neurologist told me that I had Essential Tremor and Essential Myoclonus. Then, he decided to send me to a neurologist who specializes in Motion Disorders.
I really hope that he can help me. I have so many questions! As I see the word hope at the beginning of this paragraph, it reminds me that I’ll always want to have hope for the future. No one wants to get older with pain and illness that gets worse every year.
We aren’t guaranteed another day, week or year of life. My goal this week is to keep my hope alive, but still try to be realistic in my expectations. i don’t even know if that’s possible, but one thing I’ve learned as someone with chronic illness is; every day brings new surprises – good and bad.
I really want to enjoy the good surprises and handle the bad ones with grace for myself and others. Often when I hear bad news from a doctor, I imagine that I’ll have a terrible case and will suffer greatly. It’s better if I can try to prepare myself and then allow myself to grieve and take my time thinking through all the ways the news may affect me.
Maybe this appointment will end positively. I always hope and pray that things will go well and this will be the same.
“…..for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long….. ” Psalm 25:5