Stressed But Not Hopeless

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Even though it was a hard week, the time seemed to move quickly. Having two appointments, I was completely wiped out. The boot that kept my foot stable has been replaced with a soft brace.

The soft brace is definitely soft and I don’t feel like it’s protecting my ankle at all. I turned the ankle slightly and the result was moderate pain. The bottom of my foot also aches when I’m walking.

I’m glad that I’ll see the ankle specialist on Friday. I’m afraid of what he may say. Will I need surgery, and what kind? There’s no way for me to know until I’m there.


Hubby and I had quite the scare when his heart scan showed more bad news. The test showed that his artery plaque was severe. With a High number of 400, his was over 3000. He’s starting two medications and I hope will soon meet with a cardiologist.

The test also showed that there were many metastatic lesions scattered across the skull and torso. He and I were both so upset, but thankfully he made contact with his oncologist. When the oncologist replied to hubby’s message we learned that this doesn’t matter.

The oncologist stated again that as long as the PSA stayed super low, that meant that the cancer wasn’t active. The type of lesions seen were very slow to grow. So, there was much relief.

His heart is scary to me. Having his heart in such a state put us both in shock. The first three days of this shock were pretty terrible. I told him that he will get past this stage of grief and has made good progress.

I’m now off of the Plaquenil, following the directions of my dermatologist. If my rashes are caused by this drug, I hope that the rashes will decrease quickly. It would feel like a miracle to get rid of these ugly rashes. If we don’t see results with this drug, he wants me to drop the beta blocker.

The beta blocker, Metoprolol, can’t be stopped cold turkey. I would need to get directions from my cardiologist. And, then they would need to put me on another drug that can protect me from the heart disease.


So, in this time of experimenting on my own body, I’m doing my best to relax and take care of myself. Being chronically ill usually means that there will be drug trials. These can bring good results that are worth the trial or just the opposite.

I’ve had plenty of both and have had to live with the side effects of drug trials. Although it can be very difficult sometimes, I don’t see any way around it.

I go through many painful things, and these things are experienced by many of you. I can’t understand how you feel, but I feel for you and pray that things will be better. We all long for those low-pain days!

4 thoughts on “Stressed But Not Hopeless”

  1. I am sorry there are so many things not going well right now for you. I hope the ankle doctor will give you good news. Maybe he has a better brace for your foot. I will be praying for you and your husband. Heart issues are so scary.

  2. I’m glad to hear you maintain the good spirits. You are quite the inspiration. Thanks for sharing your experience with Plaquenil. It’s one of 3 drugs I’m considering adding in the near future.

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